Online Reporter
Fadzayi Maposah
Correspondent
“Adulting” is not easy. When we were children we wanted to grow up. There were many reasons why we wanted to grow up.
The reasons ranged from being allowed to sit on any sofa, bathing when one wanted. When I was growing up, I never saw any adults being told to bath, honestly.
If it happened it was probably done in very discreet ways or using codes that as children could not decipher. Then there was being able to choose what to wear. As we bathed when we were young, my mother MaNcube would lay out our clothes.
Now the tables have changed, my mother has what to wear decided for her by others. There will even be volunteers when she is traveling from kumusha kuSanyati who will travel with whoever is picking up my mother to simply help and pack the clothes that she should take with her children.
I have never done this task basically for a few reasons, my siblings will not trust me with this task and basically I like to give people options regarding what they wear because I like being allowed to choose my clothes.
Children and siblings do you hear what I am saying? Children can be selfish, they want their parents to be presentable for them and not for the parents. What have I just said? Presentable from the point of view of the children.
From the parents view, no, the children seem to be saying that they have the upper hand. If they have bought you clothes they also want you to wear what they bought. Does anyone relate?
When we were growing up, we looked forward to deciding on many issues. This could be deciding what to eat. Someone maybe asking was that important. It was important then, it is still important today. Meals are big decisions.
As an adult and especially if you stay alone you can decide what kind of food never makes it inside your house. You can have border posts at the gate or the door where some food never finds its way inside. Other food items on the other hand are duty free and can be brought in many quantities.
So many people are on holiday now. Some have travelled to be with family and friends. Some are the ones who have had to open up their homes to the visitors.
Same boat, different compartments. Being together as adults is not easy. Even if you are siblings, there are some noted differences now in the way of life because of experiences. In short life happened.
Now the siblings need to accommodate their siblings` partners and the children if they are in the picture. These children may also have their own families and they have come to be with their grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles and cousins. It is a whole mixture.
There are decisions to be made regarding who sleeps in the same room with whom. Who gets a room and at times there will be some people who will be questioning why during the course of the holiday and when they try to verbalise their concerns these may not be well received.
These visits and family get-togethers are good and important, but they need a lot of planning, tolerance and patience. Organising meals is a lot of work. When to have the meals is also work too. I think what is important is that as one goes to these family gatherings, be prepared for a lot of change. Start by looking at yourself and the changes that have happened in the year that you are still getting used to.
This year I made some dietary changes. There are things that I have removed from my diet and things that I added. I have shed some weight. I am happy with the changes.
If, however, you have not seen me in a while, you will be surprised and you may hug me with a whisper in the ear, “Fadzi, are you okay?” I have prepared myself for such questions and I have told myself that I will try not to be offended, emphasis is on the word try!
Hormones know no manners. Hormones do not go on holiday. There will be some of us who will be menstruating this holiday. We may even have period pains. Now what we do not need are people who police us and add to the woes that we may already have. If we tell you that we are not feeling well, please hear that.
Do not be lecturing us that we are trying to spoil the fun by trying to get a nap when you think that we should all be on the dance floor. Also please do not remind us that we did not feel well the last time we were together. I could be having periods each time that we meet!
When some relatives struggle to wake up in the morning, please bear with them. Some of them do not know that they could be pregnant.
They are actually thinking that they could just be tired from all the work they have been doing. If someone gets upset after a meal, do not start battering yourself as the head chef that you are doing your best but people do not appreciate.
Everything is not about you. There might be pregnant relatives who are not ready to share the news with others, even if you suspect do not start conversations about your suspicions. This is also not the time to be telling relatives that its time they had another child, they could be under strain that they are trying but they are yet to see the results.
Besides allow them the freedom to decide the number of children and when they will have them. Tomorrow is Unity Day. Unity is important for our country, let is start at family level.
Happy holidays!
