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Mashudu Mambo
WHILE it’s true that Valentine’s Day which is celebrated on 14 February is often associated with romantic gestures and gift-giving, it’s important to remember that expectations can vary.
Not everyone celebrates Valentine’s Day, and expectations regarding gifts can differ based on individual preferences, cultural contexts and relationship dynamics. Some couples might choose not to exchange gifts at all, while others might prefer personalised experiences over material possessions.
When Valentine’s Day falls on a leap year, it is a tradition in some cultures for women to propose to their partners on leap year Valentine’s Day.
Social media buzz reveals that a number of men are expecting gifts that entail a PS5, a set of wheels, expensive colognes, dinner dates and not the usual socks and boxers.
Women have however, expressed diverse perspectives regarding expected Valentine’s Day gifts.
While some playfully acknowledge seeing posts about desired high-ticket items like PS5s and expensive cologne, others voice concerns about the financial pressure such expectations create.
The demand for gifts by men came following the tradition that women were the ones proposing on leap years during Valentine’s Day.
According to a popular blogger Thomas Bird in a leap year, a woman can propose to their partner and this tradition dates back to the 5th century in Ireland as it was the idea of St Patrick to deal with men who were shy to propose to their partners.
This idea came into law in the 13th century in Scotland and Queen Margaret decreed that if a man refused a marriage proposal in a leap year, he had to pay a fine. This became a tradition in many countries and some of the fines are expensive.
These marriage proposals are usually accompanied with gifts and this is the reason why there is a popular belief that women must shower their men with gifts on Valentine’s Day during a leap year.
While the Irish believe that February 29 is the perfect day for women to propose to their partners, in other parts of the world, 14 February is the day.
The tradition of proposing to men is a bone of contention as most Zimbabweans believe that it is taboo to propose to a man.
In separate interviews women revealed varied opinions on the idea of proposing during Valentine’s Day, with some citing cultural reasons for their opposition.
“As an African woman, proposing to my partner is one of the things that l cannot imagine doing because it is against my traditional values.
“If any of my relatives find out that l proposed to my partner, l would be labelled as a desperate and loose woman who was not groomed well and my parents are likely to be disappointed in me,” said Mellisa Phiri.
Phiri added that there was a need to demystify such beliefs and allow women to also play an active role in choosing their life partners.
“We need to break some of these ancient beliefs and understand that as women we must not always wait to be chosen by men but we must also play an active role in choosing our partners.
“In dating or even marriages, women are limited to waiting for men to choose them and this has led to a number of divorces and adultery as most women settle for the options that are readily available to them,” said Phiri.
Silibaziso Ncube said proposing to her partner was against her Christian values and she would never attempt it.
“As a Christian, this is against my beliefs because the bible says that a man who finds a wife obtains favour from God and not the other way round.
“This valentine, I will not attempt to propose to my partner, I will wait until they decide to marry me because I believe that God’s time is the best,” said Ncube.
It is important to note that beyond gift-giving, Valentine’s Day can be an opportunity to express love and appreciation through quality time, shared experiences, thoughtful gestures, or simply spending time together in a way that feels meaningful to both partners.
However, a number of single men expressed mixed feelings as they stated that being proposed to by a woman is weird and they are likely to reject the proposals.
“Nowadays, they say it is normal, women can express themselves towards men. Personally, if my partner does that I will first check for some hidden cameras as I believe that it would be a prank.
“As an African, that will be new to me and I would not take the woman seriously because we believe in pursuing women rather than being pursued,” said Mcimbocy Mabhena.
Bright Ncube said western tradition has left a number of women heartbroken as they were usually rejected.
“This Western belief of being proposed to by a woman on Valentine’s Day is against our tradition. We have seen a number of women who have tried it being dumped. I think it is better when one is dealing with a man who is well vexed with Western values,” said Ncube.
However, Neverest Mvundura believes that when a woman proposes to him it means that she is dedicated to the relationship.
“I would accept the proposal because it means that she really thought it through and is serious about the relationship.
“There are factors that l might consider like beauty but l will not reject such a proposal because it is hard to find a genuine partner nowadays,” he said.
Online Reporter
