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Danisa Masuku
Men are usually viewed as perpetrators of Gender-Based-Violence (GBV) while women are often taken as victims of the vice.
Despite the fact that women can be perpetrators they rarely open up or associate themselves with that tag.
Although the case of a Bulawayo-based police officer Rangarirai Chifamba who recently opened-up to B-Metro that he was a monster to his wife, appears to confirm that men are the real perpetrators of GBV, women can be perpetrators as well.
Relating his journey out of a cycle of abuse Rangarirai, who is now reformed said he became a boozer after he was transferred from duty uniform to the Criminal Investigations Department (CID). One of the major takeaways from the touching conversations detailing his reformation was that every argument was punctuated with verbal attack and beating of his wife.
The Damascus moment arrived when one day it dawned on him that what he was doing was out of character and he apologised to his wife and started to reform.
After that he turned the corner and opened a new chapter in his life and he is now living a peaceful life.
Investigations by this publication at the Bulawayo and Western Commonage Civil Courts , however, established that more men were now seeking help from the courts against abusive partners, claiming they were being verbally, physically and sexually abused.
A case in point is that of Eric Moyo from Entumbane suburb who recently caused a rumpus in court when he wept before Western Commonage Court magistrate Jeconia Prince Ncube claiming he had never known peace since he got married to his wife Eugenia Moyo 10 years ago.
Eric who suspected his wife was cheating on him, claimed she was in the habit of beating him up each time he confronts her especially when she comes home late and drunk.
“Your Worship, my wife is in the habit of verbally, physically and emotionally abusing me. She is always coming home late and drunk and whenever I confronted her she turned violent and started beating me up.
“She is also harassing me and whenever I asked for sex, she refused before she beat me up and may this honourable court grant me a protection order so that she stops harassing me,” said a teary Eric.
A magistrate who spoke to this publication on condition of anonymity citing professional reasons said:
“We have dealt with quite a number of civil cases where men would be victims of abuse with some claiming they are even being denied sex , and being told that they are useless in bed.
“In such instances it is rare for a woman to apologise for abusing her husband.”
The magistrate added: “Within a week you find out that out of 10 cases of people seeking protection orders, six of the applicants will be men seeking protection against their wives or estranged partners and usually when a woman subjects her husband to any form of abuse she would have decided to call it quits.
“And in most cases such a woman would start to booze and spend the night at her friend’s place and when her husband confronts or questions her she would turn violent instead of apologising.”
House of Grace Pastor Alois Chikomo said most of the men suffer in silence due to societal expectations that a “real man” should not cry of abuse from his wife or report her to the police.
“They (men) don’t want to portray themselves as victims but they always pretend as if everything is ok, when it is not.
“The other reason is that some of the female Christians who are married to non-Christians rush to their pastors to seek counselling while they are the ones who abuse their husbands. The man of cloth would offer her counselling and sadly her husband would not know.
“In most cases such women portray themselves as angels or victims as they want to maintain their good standing churches. They won’t admit that they are the perpetrators of domestic violence because of fear of being seen in a negative light.”
Busisiwe Brown who wears two caps one as a Director of LimitLess Women in Zimbabwe and the other as a Village head for village 8 at Heany Junction, Matabeleland North province said: “Most of the women who have opened up as perpetrators claimed they would be doing it in revenge after their husbands would have verbally, physically and sexually abused them.
“Regrettably quite a number of them rarely admit that they are wrong and apologise to their husbands. Some of them who have spoken to me openly declared that they will be exercising their rights and they cannot be submissive to violent husbands.”
Brown said at her traditional court she rarely receives cases where men reports their wives of abuse.
“Most men in rural areas still subscribe to societal expectations that a real man is not abused by his wife.
“Most men do not report abuse perpetrated by women on them, for fear of being labelled weak,” she said.
Online Reporter
