Online Reporter
Takawira Photoveteran Unlimited
TWO Zimbabweans, who are living in the UK, have told H-Metro that a number of local marriages are breaking down in that country because the couples can not handle the pressure that comes with cultural changes.
Taskman Dingwiza, who lives in Essex, said many local marriages were undergoing severe tests.
“The truth is that the diaspora is a trial and for many families, it’s the wives who had the skills to get a visa to come here.
“I am mainly talking about the UK, where I have first-hand information.
“In this set-up, it means the wife holds the keys.
“In the UK, family responsibility is very different from home, if you have kids, the law says children cannot be alone at home, and many cannot afford a maid, meaning all the time, either of the parents has to be with kids at home.
“Also, at school, the law says kids have to be accompanied to school by parents or guardians, teachers won’t release a child after school if there’s no guardian or parent.
“This means both parents have to devise a way of ensuring these set responsibilities are met without fail otherwise they risk the law coming against them and risking losing their children to social care authorities.”
He added:
“Our culture says the wife has to take care of all house responsibilities but here, the wife is the one working, and her husband is coming to live within the budget of his wife.
“The men can look for a job, but that job has to be flexible to the wife’s job because she is the one with the visa carrying everybody and this means for these men, it’s difficult to get a good job or should I say, the job of their choice.”
Mcdonald Miidzi, 40, who went to the UK when he was 18, said:
“Our culture back home in Africa places respect on men.
“The fact that you are a man automatically guarantees you some level of respect, but in the diaspora, respect is not automatic, but it is earned through your ability to provide and serve your family, also, it should be reciprocal.
“Most African men back home have never been placed in a situation where they seek advice from females.
“The African way of living is so masculine. That quickly changes when people get to the Diaspora, where most men can never adjust, which brings all sorts of issues, which end up in divorces.
“For example, if there is a fight between parents in a household with children, it is often the case that a man is removed so the children’s lives can go on peacefully,” he said.
